Feedback:
Be clearer with the phases - make more of it and more in-depth
Beginnings of some really nice drawings
Sketchiness is a bit too underdeveloped - try and make them less diagrammatic
Dial down the blue rectangles for the windows
Bullet point writing - doesn’t have to be too much text
Emphasize the roof tops
Write how it is an existing building and so that people know you're developing a building already there
Make stairs less steep
Exaggerate the difference between the reuse spaces and the fun upper function
Your representation is really nice however don’t want it to be too illustrated - make sure it is architectural
Representation would be more believable with floor thicknesses and wall thicknesses
If it is a covered space make it clearer that it is through diagrams
Really enjoyable
Changes I'm planning on making:
- Add annotation and a short explanation between the different phases from my urban strategy page
- I personally feel like a lot of materials give an overwhelming look to drawings unless they're supposed to look realistic (which is not my aim) but I do agree that materiality is important so I will create an elevation dedicated to showing materiality and how these materials work together.
- I want to emphasize the roof-tops by color-blocking in the existing structures that no changes are being made so that my new/changed structure stands out and is clear. (creating contrast between new proposal)
- Add a page showing strategy of criteria of buildings that are being used and which buildings are being reused
- Make stairs less steep/change form
- Add wall thickness
- Less text, only keywords/sentences
- Add a cover to some areas, open, semi-closed, closed
- Add sheets explaining and showing the connections between the different spaces
- Make masterplan
- Create 3D collages
Comparison pre/post review
- creates focus and clear difference between new & old structure
Doing that removes the materiality of the elevation so I created an additional elevation to complement the drawings since it is still an important aspect to demonstrate.
Comments